IT'S ONLY JANUARY 7th, AND THIS YEAR ALREADY STINKS
Happy National Pass Gas Day! I hope that, regardless of what you have planned today, you fart proudly if the urge strikes. It's what Founding Creep Benjamin Franklin would have wanted.
Ol' Ben never met someone he couldn't disgust with his flatulent antics. True story!
I bet the star of our newest design, Black Phillip, probably has some gnarly gas. Goats already have a rep for indiscriminate eating, and being the embodiment of Satanic evil in earthly form, he probably likes rich foods. After all, if you happened to catch Phil's star turn in 2015 period horror flick The Witch, you know he likes to "live deliciously." If 2022 is going to be anyone's year, it'll be his!
Speaking of living deliciously, today is also National Tempura Day! The pairing of a day celebrating fried food and flatulence seems...suspiciously premeditated, but what do I know? I'm just a guy trying to make a living drawing cute Devil-goats.
If you're feeling like you need this cute little hircine fellow in your wardrobe — or maybe your Valentine's (hint hint) — take 10% off orders of $100 or more with the code YAY10. Also don't forget that orders of $75 or more ship for free within the US!
Moving right along, let's add some fuel to our flatulent fire (why yes, I am trying to work as many references to farting as I can into this email) by having some birthday cake in honor of January 7th babes of yore! Today we're celebrating the birthdays of:
• Actor Jeremy Renner, born this day in 1971! He may be an big screen Avenger now, but it seems like just yesterday he was the baby-faced blood-sucking offspring of Angel on the small screen.
• Actor Dustin "Screech" Diamond, born this day in 1977! Gone too soon. Never forget!
• 13th President of the United States Millard Fillmore, born this day in 1800! Not the worst, but far from the best, a 2018 poll of political scientists ranked him sixth-worst POTUS. Being the standard-bearer for a group called the Know-Nothing Party probably didn't help his case, but again, I'm just a guy who draws Satanic goats and makes fart jokes. (It's a living. Kind of. Buy some shirts!)
• Everyone's favorite unhinged method actor Nicolas Cage, born this day in 1964! If you haven't seen some of his bananas (but surprisingly good!) recent work in the horror genre, I encourage you to check him out in 2018's Mandy, 2019's Color Out of Space, and 2021's Willy's Wonderland. For some more vintage Cage-y insanity, you can't go wrong with 1988's Vampire's Kiss.
• Finally, saving the best for last, a very bizarre (but still happy) birthday to cartoonist Charles Addams, born this day in 1912! Mr. Addams is, of course, responsible for giving us the greatest cartoon (and later, sitcom and cinematic) ensemble of all-time, The Addams Family. I hope that wherever his desiccated remains are, they're within earshot of a charming goth woman whispering sweet nothings in French.
Alright! We'll be back in your inbox Monday with a new Boredwalk Community Q&A, more famous birthdays, a random holiday or two, and other assorted entertainment! Until next time...
Peace, love, and goat farts,