☄️ How is an asteroid like a cat? 😾 – Boredwalk
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☄️ How is an asteroid like a cat? 😾

NEITHER IS INTERESTED IN YOUR PETTY HUMAN CONCERNS

Happy International Asteroid Day! This lesser holiday was founded by actual scientists in 2015 in order to heighten public awareness of the threat asteroids pose to Earth. This is because scientists have only discovered approximately 1% of the roughly 100,000,000 asteroids hurtling through space that could potentially strike our planet and end life as we know it. Exciting!

I'm willing to bet that humanity does itself in before an asteroid does, though.

Hahaha! Oh, humanity — don't ever change! (Don't worry; I know you won't.)

Hahaha! Oh, humanity — don't ever change! (Don't worry; I know you won't.)

*****

Before we get to some funny links, let's celebrate a few June 30th birthdays!

  • Actress, dancer, singer, and civil rights activist Lena Horne, born this day in 1917! Ms Horne got her start as a nightclub singer at the legendary Cotton Club in New York City before moving to Hollywood for a successful film career.
  • Actor and comedian David Alan Grier, born this day in 1956! Best known for his many characters on the comedic sketch show In Living Color, Mr. Grier has had a successful standup career and on the big screen in films like 1995's Jumanji, 1992's Boomerang, 1994's In The Army Now, and others.
  • Actress Lizzy Caplan, born this day in 1982! Ms Caplan's first role was on Freaks and Geeks, but her supporting roles in Mean Girls and Cloverfield introduced her to a wider audience. She was particularly great as human sexuality researcher Virginia Johnson on Showtime's Masters of Sex.
  • Finally, happy birthday to Olympic swimming legend Michael "The Baltimore Bullet" Phelps, born this day in 1985! Mr. Phelps holds the all-time record for most Olympic gold medals (23), Olympic gold medals in individual events (13), and Olympic medals in individual events (16).

Today is also the anniversary of the introduction of the Corvette, the first all-fiberglass-bodied American sports car (1953), the debut of The Johnny Carson Show on CBS (1955), and the premiere of Alfred Hitchcock's legendary thriller Psycho (1960).

Alright, let's get to some fun links!

1. Cranes chaperoning a rogue alligator. Of course.

This has "Florida" written all over it.

2. This golden girl is colorful in oh-so-many other ways!

Twitter user RiotGrlErin gives Blanche Devereaux her due with side-by-side shots of beds masquerading as Blanche.

3. YouTuber turns distressed cat sounds into dope beats!

Don't worry — Meredith Bull doesn't distress the cats herself. In fact, based on the videos, these cats are distressing themselves. Anyone who has been awoken at 3AM by a bloodcurdling yowl will know this.

4. Classic Wikipedia rabbit holes, now in Insta meme form.

Did you know that there is an entire Wikipedia page devoted to George H.W. Bush's comments on broccoli? Well, you do now! This Instagram account collects a smattering of the most bizarre pages Wikipedia has to offer.

5. Poorly-designed consumer products, ALSO now in Insta meme form!

THIS Instagram account collects images of bizarre consumer products, like a dog water bowl in the shape of a toilet, a tea infuser shaped like the Titanic, and cat-butt cookie cutters. Delicious!

OK! Hopefully these little diversions helped to brighten your day! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more fun birthdays, diversions, historical facts, and — with any luck — a new design!

Peace, love, and asteroid-induced extinction level events,

Matt


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