TIP EARLY AND OFTEN
Happy National Bartender Day! I dunno about you, but I love a good bartender. Some of my most formative adult moments have occurred in bars:
• Met Boredwalk co-founder Meredith...in a bar
• Realized that you don't have to finish a drink just because there's liquid left in the bottle/glass...in a bar (yay maturity!)
• Met some of my dearest long-term friends...in bars
• Once watched comedian and current MST3K star Jonah Ray eat a taco down the table from me...in a bar
Did you know that even if you abstain from alcohol you can quench your thirst in a bar? True story! They have water and club soda and Shirley Temples and everything.
Now that your friendly neighborhood drink slingers are saddled with dodging Omicron — on top of serving gaggles of pharma bros that apparently subsist on nothing but high-fives and shots of Jäger — be sure to tip them extra generously next time you happen to be (ahem) day drinking and doom scrolling. They've earned it!
Cocktail shakers: like Shake Weights, only INFINITELY BETTER IN EVERY POSSIBLE WAY.
Let's pour a delicious libation for the following birthday persons and geopolitical landmasses:
• Illinois, admitted as the 21st state in the Union on this day in 1818! Coincidentally, Chicago was the city that ordered the most from Boredwalk during our Black Friday/Cyber Monday sale last weekend. Thanks, Land of Lincoln!
• Polish-British novelist Joseph Conrad, born this day in 1857! Heart of Darkness gets all the glory, but I always preferred The Secret Agent.
• Speaking of darkness, happy birthday to the Prince of Darkness himself, Ozzy Osbourne, who was belched from the smoldering fires of post-war England on this day in 1948! I hope his celebration today doesn't get too crazy or go off the rails...
• Actors Julianne Moore and Daryl Hannah (1960), Brendan Fraser (1968), and Amanda Seyfried (1985)
Unfortunately we've been a bit short-staffed this week at Boredwalk HQ, so Meredith and I did not have time to add our latest design to the website OR record a new podcast episode.
The good — nay, GREAT — news is that even down a couple people, our stellar team has been printing and shipping out orders at an amazingly fast clip! If you've ordered something from Boredwalk in the last several days it is either already on its way to you or soon will be! This bodes especially well for the procrastinators out there who are still itching to get some Boredwalk merch ahead of the 25th (or Saturnalia, if that's more your speed). I wouldn't delay much longer, though — there are always shipping delays this time of year, so plan accordingly!
If you're in a shopping mood today or this weekend, don't forget to take 10% off orders of $100 or more with the code YAY10. Also don't forget that orders of $75 or more ship for free within the US!
Alright! We'll be back in your inbox Monday with some more famous birthdays, random holidays, and maybe a customer Q&A if someone would like to volunteer! Reply to this to let me know and I'll send you some questions!
Peace, love, and cocktails,