T. REX HAS NO QUALMS ABOUT MUNCHING ON VELOCIRAPTORS
Happy National Velociraptor Awareness Day! I don't know about you, but I have been keenly aware of velociraptors since around 1990, the year I read Michael Crichton's massively popular sci-fi novel Jurassic Park.
You know who else was keenly aware of velociraptors? The T. Rex that stomped into the final scene of the big screen adaptation of Jurassic Park to run interference on the raptors menacing Drs. Grant and Sattler and their pint-sized charges Lex & Tim so those four foolish humans could escape what would have otherwise been certain doom. It's a dino-eat-dino world out there.
Today is also National Lineman Appreciation Day! No, not the 300+ pound behemoths blocking the pocket for the QB of your favorite CFB or NFL team; today honors the men and women who keep us connected to the power grid! As Jimmy Webb wrote (and Glen Campbell sang), they "drive the main road, searchin' in the sun for another overload."
Finally, today is also...National Animal Cracker Day. I hope whatever you have for dessert today is more exciting than animal crackers. Maybe Nabisco should consider adding some of the aforementioned theropods to their bland cookie lineup to up the excitement quotient for next year.
Famous April 18th birthdays? Sure, why not:
• The Republic of Zimbabwe, whose independence was first recognized on this day in 1980! Prior to that it was known as Rhodesia because wealthy white Europeans with stuffy names like Cecil Rhodes LOVE naming land masses that don't belong to them after themselves. Happy birthday, Zimbabwe!
• Clifton Hillegass, born this day in 1918! Mr. Hillegass is the Cliff behind CliffsNotes. I'll be honest — I never got much use out of CliffsNotes (or their upstart competitor SparkNotes) while in school. Except when it came to the works of Norwegian playwright Henrik Ibsen — then I needed all the help I could get.
• Music journalist and essayist Robert Christgau, born this day in 1942! Mr. Christgau (who would probably excoriate me for referring to him as "mister" if I did it within earshot of him) was one of the earliest professional rock critics, getting his start in the late 1960s. For 37 years he was the chief music critic and senior editor for The Village Voice, was an early proponent of the (at the time) nascent punk, hip-hop, and riot grrrl movements, and he created and oversaw that publication's massively influential annual Pazz & Jop critics poll. I don't agree with all of his opinions about music...but I sure am glad they exist.
Also born today were actor/comedian/songwriter Rick Moranis (1953), B-movie acting legend Eric Roberts (1956), actress Jane Leeves (1961), late night host and monorail enthusiast Conan O'Brien (1963), actor/singer Eric McCormack (1963), actor/Time Lord David Tennant (1971), and actor/director/producer Eli Roth (1972).
Alrighty! Scroll on down to learn about fellow Boredwalk fan Quinne A.! If you'd like to be featured in our Monday Q&A segment, shoot us an email at firstname.lastname@example.org and let us know!
We'll be back in your inbox on Wednesday with links to fun distractions! If you're in a shopping mood, be sure to use the code YAY10 at checkout to save 10% on orders of $100 or more! Until next time...
Peace, love, and dino cookies,
Quinne looking exasperated by humanity in her Hell Is Other People scoop-neck top!
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
Real job: I run customer experience for a biotech company.
Dream job: host of a late night talk show, or a travel show.
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
When anyone who doesn’t use the serial comma continues to refuse to employ its use, even after being educated on its objectively disambiguating benefits. At that point it’s just willful ignorance. Oh, and when apostrophes are used to pluralize things. There shouldn’t be “exception cases” (DVDs and CEOs make way more sense than DVD’s *shudder* and CEO’s *shudder*). Let’s just agree to ditch the apostrophe for all plurals, ok???
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3. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
Every adult human should read Invisible Women: Data Bias in a World Designed for Men. This book reveals how comprehensively the world we all fumble around in every day is oriented toward the needs of men. It’s woven into every facet of our existence, and is both mind-boggling and eye-opening.
4. What's a life pro tip the Boredwalk community needs to know?
This is advice I give to heterosexual men, about what heterosexual women want. We want you to exhibit the two polar opposites of any given trait. The trick isn’t whether we want you to be funny OR serious, easy-going OR assertive, tender OR rough; we want you to be both of everything. The trick is to know exactly which one to employ, and when. No easy feat; I realize doing that is extremely difficult and requires you to become attuned to the woman in question. But the fact is, we’re not complicated — that’s exactly what we want.
(LOL, no pressure!)
5. If you could have any super power, what would it be and why?
The real answer? Teleportation. So much time is wasted in transit, anywhere. People are awful, and the less time I have to spend amongst them, the better. Teleportation would allow me to avoid navigating around humans and all the idiotic ways we’ve set thus world up. Also, I love to travel, and crossing distances is limiting.
The answer some tiny, nicer part of me inside wanted to have? I would make it so that every time someone says something nice about someone else who isn’t present, the absent person would somehow hear the nice thing being said about them.
6. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
A loud fly lazily relentlessly buzzing in and out of their immediate vicinity, every attempt to swat or get rid of it unsuccessful.
7. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I want to SCUBA dive with whale sharks and/or humpback whales.
8. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
At my or my partner’s house playing games, or in my garage, happily making stuff out of wood badly (and learning all of my lessons the hardest possible way).
Thanks so much to Quinne for the revealing Q&A! If you'd like to fill this space in a future Monday email and blog post, let me know! I'll send you some questions and my undying gratitude!