MY REACTION WHEN PEOPLE GREET ME WITH "HOW ARE YOU?" 😒
This is normally the part of the email where I tell you what weird national observance coincides with today's date on the calendar. Instead I'd like to propose a new occasion.We can call it National Don't Ask "How Are You" Unless You Mean It Day.
Okay, that's a mouthful, but I am running low on creative energy, so that's the working title.
Dear reader, I am horrible. Most people seem to be right now. Everything feels extremely bleak in the world, and you if you're already a person who tends towards a gloomy disposition, it's a lot. So please — dental office assistants, vendors, salespeople in my inbox — please stop asking how I am. I don't want to get into it and I don't want to pretend everything is fine. I am barely holding things together, please do not poke the impending breakdown.
This is me on the inside right now, while still trying to appear to go about my day.
Anyway, I did look up what everone else considers "occasions" today, and the first thing that popped up: Feast of the Ass Day! I wish I were making this up. Look, this whole decade has been a feast of ass. No more please, I am full.
It's also National Dress Up Your Pet Day, so I guess do that if your pet is into it. Whatever it takes to distract ourselves from our painful shared consciousness, right?
Famous birthdays? Coming right up.
• Rapper, producer, and actor LL Cool J, born today in 1986! I hear he needs love. Don't we all?
• Actor, director, and producer Jason Bateman, born in 1969! (And still somehow boyishly adorable.)
• Foo Fighter Dave Grohl, born today in 1969! This Bateman birthday twin will never be your monkey wrench!
• Actress Faye Dunaway, born today in 1941!
• Ancient Roman politician and loverboy of Cleopatra Mark Antony, born today in 83 BC!
Alright! We'll be back in your inbox Monday with a new Boredwalk Community Q&A, more famous birthdays, a random holiday or two, and other assorted entertainment! Until next time...
Peace, love, and nightmares,