What are we going to do with you, April 6th? 🤦🏻 – Boredwalk
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What are we going to do with you, April 6th? 🤦🏻

YOU'RE NOT EVEN TRYING

Happy National Siamese Cat Day! (I guess?)

Look, I love these distinctive-looking little furballs as much as the next cat lover (problematic mid-century Disney depiction notwithstanding), but you know that April 6th is really phoning it in with the bizarre observances when the *checks internet* 12th-most popular cat breed in the US as of 2021 is the marquee event. Twelfth!*

* "Twelfth" is such an insane mess of clumsily colliding consonants; I love it. I like to imagine that math nerds of yore were keeping it pretty basic when developing the ordinal words from "first" through "eleventh" until some tipsy Welsh** person burst into the room hopped up on mead and slurred "twelfth" over and over while shaking their fist ominously, and the rest of them all just went with it to avoid a kerfuffle.

** No offense to the good — nay, GREAT — people of Wales! I admire your lush green hills, majestic craggy coastline, and rich musical history — thank you for your Manic Street Preachers, your Joy Formidables, your Super Furry Animals, your Catatonias, your Stereophonics-es, your Tom Joneses, and your Shirely Bassey-es. But "twelfth" looks Welsh AF and you know it!


Think I'm joking? Today is also National Tartan Day (even though this is 'Murica and not Scotland), National Teflon Day (isn't that supposed to be bad for us?), National Acai Bowl Day (I still have never eaten one of these, which feels somewhat impossible for a plant-based dude in LA, yet here we are), National Sorry Charlie Day, which is apparently supposed to be about contemplating all the times we've experienced rejection in our lives (like I haven't been spiraling out in rumination of this nonstop for decades unprompted), and National Walking Day (I'm all for getting the blood pumping as lazily as possible, but also; yawn).

So yeah, April 6th:

Gordon Ramsay get it together GIF

Maybe next year you can believe in yourself a bit more like April 5th and April 7th do and you, too, could have something awesome like Deep Dish Pizza, Caramel, Burritos, and/or Beer associated with you. You are literally sandwiched between greatness! Hell, pick ANY *ACTUAL* SANDWICH and we will all be the better for it!

*****

Phew. Sorry about that. Anyhoo, before we get to this week's amusing finds from around the web, let's give a few April 6th birthday shout outs to:

Artist Gil Kane, born this day in 1926! Mr. Kane's career in comic books spanned five decades, and was most notable for his co-creation of Marvel's Iron Fist character, and DC's modern (post-1960) versions of the Green Lantern and The Atom.

• Spiritual leader and psychonaut Richard "Ram Dass" Alpert, born this day in 1931! Ram Dass, among other pursuits, helped popularize yoga and Eastern spirituality in the West following his 1963 dismissal from Harvard University for researching the therapeutic effects of psychedelic drugs with Timothy Leary.

• Actor William December "Billy Dee" Williams, Jr., born this day in 1937! Mr. Williams is most famous for portraying charming cloud real estate developer Lando Calrissian in the Star Wars franchise, and was nominated for an Emmy for his 1971 portrayal of football legend Gayle Sayers in Brian's Song.

• Country music legend Merle Haggard, also born this day in 1937! Along with other performers and songwriters from California's Central Valley like Buck Owens, Susan Raye, and Jean Shepard, Mr. Haggard was associated with more rock 'n' roll-influence "Bakersfield sound" of country music first popularized in the early 1960s as a counterpoint to the more polished records and performers coming out of Nashville. In a bit of synchronicity, "Hag" also died on this day in 2016.

• Alternative rock pioneer Charles "Black Francis/Frank Black" Thompson IV, born this day in 1965! Francis is the co-founder, primary songwriter, and lead singer of seminal college rock icons Pixies, whom I am quite fond of.

• Finally, a happy annual virgin blood sacrifice to that ageless wonder of wonders, preternaturally handsome actor Paul Rudd, born this day in 1969! Mr. Rudd has played earnest collegiate student activists, self-loathing appliance salesmen, anchormen, surly burger-kiss-hating summer camp bullies, and super-powered Ant-Men over the course of his illustrious film career. May his charming smile remain unchanged by the ravages of time for another 53 Dorian Gray-esque years!

Now on to some amusing links!

*****

1. Granny TikTok drops knowledge bombs about sex working birds

Let's kick things off with ten seconds of...whatever this is.

2. Cat sings the blues

Ah yes, pity the poor beleaguered house cat. Nobody knows the trouble it has seen, what with the constant napping, snacking, and butt-licking.

3. Need help with inter-office communications?

Sand off the rough edges on the emails you wish you could send to colleagues with this handy guide!

4. Relax with this calming (and very cool) model train ride through Europe

My grandfather loved trains (both the real and miniature model variety), and he would have LOVED this interactive 360˚ video! While watching, click on the video and move your cursor around to change the view if you're on desktop or laptop; if you're on mobile, just move your phone around!

5. Comedy legend Lily Tomlin gets candid about her crippling Pac-Man addiction

"It all starts with a harmless quarter...but it can turn to tragedy just like that."

*****

OK! Hopefully these little diversions helped to brighten your day! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more entertainment and Boredwalk news and a secret limited edition weekend drop you will NOT want to miss! Until then...

Peace, love, and Welsh pride,

Matt


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