News
A smorgasbord of occasions! 🥳
I'M not crying, YOU'RE crying! 😭
IF YOU'RE NOT A BLUBBERING MESS BECAUSE OF A CAR COMMERCIAL, IS IT EVEN THE HOLIDAY SEASON?!
Happy National Gazpacho Day!
I suppose early December is a fairly fitting time to celebrate a chilled soup, but since modern gazpacho relies heavily on a distinctly summery produce — tomatoes, cucumbers, and avocados are fixtures in mine — it feels like maybe this isn't the ideal juncture at which to put it on a pedestal.
But who am I kidding; if someone offers me a bowl of gazpacho today, there's no way I'm passing that up.
Hot, cold, lukewarm — if it has tomatoes in it, I'm in, Lisa.
GIF courtesy of The Simpsons / FOX
Alright, before we get to those links, let's take note of some famous events and birthdays from December 6ths of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!
• In 1865, Georgia ratified the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution, legally freeing American slaves
• In 1884 the Washington Monument was completed
• Birthday gazpacho all around for: Songwriter Ira Gershwin (1896), actress Agnes Moorehead of Bewitched fame (1900), Canadian-American businessman Irv Robbins of Baskin-Robbins ice cream fame (1917), jazz pianist & composer Dave Brubeck of "Take Five" and "Blue Rondo à la Turk" fame (1920), computer programmer and entrepreneur Craig Newmark of CraigsList fame (1952), singer-songwriter Chris Stamey of 80s power-pop luminaries the dBs (1954), English drummer & songwriter Rick Buckler of mod punk legends The Jam (1955), actor & comedian Steven Wright (1955), guitarist, songwriter, and producer Peter Buck of R.E.M. fame (1956), guitarist & songwriter Randy Rhoads of Quiet Riot and Ozzy Osbourne band fame (1956), drummer David Lovering of Pixies fame (1961), English singer-songwriter and DJ Ben Watt of Everything But The Girl (1962), filmmaker Judd Apatow (1967), and HIV/AIDS activist Ryan White (1971)
• Pour one out for: Singer-songwriter & guitarist Roy Orbison of "Only the Lonely" and "Oh, Pretty Woman" fame (d. 1988) and singer-songwriter Dobie Gray of "Drift Away" fame (d. 2011)
Now on to the amusing links!
1. 💍 If it's the holidays, it's time for a lot of "he went to Jareth's!" commercials
Screw Jared — people who want to REALLY express romantic emotion via fancy rocks get their baubles from Jareth!
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
2. 💉 Worried about pox and/or plague? Get thee to the apothecary!
Renaissance person Colleen McCandless (briefly) takes modern medicine back to the actual Renaissance.
3. 😭 What is this salty discharge?!
Yeah, this Chevy commercial is emotionally manipulative AF, but even my cynical @$$ started bawling 30 seconds in and didn't stop for the next five minutes.
4. 🤨 Ew, literacy? Sounds like witchcraft.
Comedian Missy Chanpaibool reimagines pilgrim women as pick-me girls. Jedediah doesn't know what he's getting himself into!
5. 🎙️ Sounds like somebody shoulda gone to Jareth's!
Boredwalk's alpha female podcast is back, and they have a bone to pick with men who don't put out on the first date!*
*And by "put out" we mean "complete minor home repairs."
She bought you dinner, pal, so stop playing coy and get on your knees — that shower drain isn't going to unclog itself!
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OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...
Peace, love, and gazpacho,
Matt
⛷️ It may be all downhill from here...
...BUT AT LEAST THERE ARE COOKIES AT THE BOTTOM
Happy National Cookie Day! The cooler temperatures may be bumming me out, but there are few things that warm the cockles of ones heart like freshly-baked cookies. Scrumdiddlyumptious! Bonus points if you can enjoy them with someone covered in warm & cozy fur.
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For you gaming enthusiasts, today is also National Dice Day! I prefer games that don't require die rolls, but to each their own.
And if your extremities are particularly chilly today, it would be a capital idea to celebrate National Sock Day!
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Let's kick off the week with a few famous December 4th birthdays and historical facts:
• In 1865 North Carolina ratified the 13th Amendment to the U.S. Constitution. The state of Georgia would follow soon thereafter, and within two weeks U.S. slaves were legally freed.
• In 1909 the Montreal Canadiens ice hockey team was founded as a charter member of the National Hockey Association. It is the oldest surviving professional ice hockey franchise in the world.
• In 1956 the "Million Dollar Quartet" of Elvis Presley, Jerry Lee Lewis, Carl Perkins, and Johnny Cash record together at Sun Studio in Memphis, Tennessee for the first and last time.
• Birthday cookies all around for: Austrian-Swiss poet & author Rainer Maria Rilke (1875), singer-songwriter, guitarist, and bassist Chris Hillman of The Byrds and The Flying Burrito Brothers (1944), singer-songwriter & drummer Dennis Wilson of The Beach Boys (1944), actor Jeff Bridges of Tron, Starman, and The Big Lebowski fame (1949), actor Tony Todd of Candyman film franchise fame (1954), jazz singer-songwriter Cassandra Wilson (1955), actress Marisa Tomei of My Cousin Vinny and Slums of Beverly Hills fame (1964), actor & musician Fred Armisen of Saturday Night Live and Portlandia fame (1966), rap icon Jay-Z of "being Beyoncé's lesser half" fame (1969), and model & actress Tyra Banks (1973)
• Pour one out for: German-American philosopher Hannah Arendt (d. 1975), singer-songwriter, guitarist, and producer Frank Zappa (d. 1993), and singer & actor Bob McGrath of Sesame Street fame (d. 2022)
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OK, scroll on down to learn a bit about fellow Boredwalk fan Jay! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, or books to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...
Peace, love, and cookies,
Matt
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Jay looking cozy in her Brooklyn 718 scoop-neck sweatshirt while adding to her Grievance Journal!
• What's your biggest pet peeve?
People who chew with their mouth open and men who cannot share a sidewalk!
• What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
The Body is Not an Apology: The Power of Radical Self-Love by Renee Taylor
• If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
I’d want to fly. I think it would be fun and I’d save on gas.
• You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
I don’t have to, as he keeps on getting fired from jobs on his own.
• What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I would go skydiving without the fear of puking and duking the run-of-green-sturdy fields.
• If you could make a mundane wish (meaning, a wish for something seemingly inconsequential that you still believe would benefit you immensely), what would it be for?
Take care of one of my beloved’s chronic pain
• What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
Own a cat and dog at same time!
• What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?
Get the offer in writing!
• Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
Feminists can cook and have a great sense of humor!
• Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
I love the West Coast!
OMG It's finally here! 🤯
DELVE DECK EXPANSION PACKS ARE FINALLY HERE! 😍
This hot new release is months in the making, but if you loved our original Delve Deck, we're sure you'll love these two new expansion packs. This time we have a little something for everyone!
For the rays of sunshine: maybe you bought our original deck but wished it had even more upbeat content or you're one of those folks trying to work on your gratitude practice. For you, we present the Joy Edition. This deck features 150 questions about your favorite things, helping you hone in on what you love, what you're grateful for, and what makes you the happiest. It's perfect for bonding with friends about your favorite stuff and can even function as prompts for journaling or solo reflection.
For the rays of pitch black: you know you're my people! Like you, I too am a ray of pitch black and believe complaining should be an Olympic sport. If you enjoyed our Grievance Journal, this new deck is a must-have. With 150 questions, our Venting Edition is perfect for bonding with friends about all the stuff that drives you the craziest.
And before some so-and-so lectures you about how you shouldn't complain*, tell them to stuff their judgment in a sack, because complaining can actually be good for you (and let's be honest, it can be fun, too)! You can also direct them to the Joy Edition—like I said, something for everyone!
*Isn't complaining about someone else's desire to complain also complaining? Gotcha there, rays of sunshine! C'mon, admit it — you wanna complain, too. Come to the dark side, we have cake!
GIF via Blown Away
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Alright! Let's send you off into the weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from December 1sts of yore!
• Sherlock Holmes first appeared in print on this day in 1887
• The Kingdom of Iceland was established on this day in 1918
• The first issue of Playboy Magazine was published on this day in 1953
• Civil rights activist Rosa Parks was arrested on this day in 1955 for refusing to move to the back of a bus
• Birthday cakes all around for: French-English sculptor and founder of Madame Tussaud’s Wax Museum Marie Tussaud (1761), comedian Richard Pryor (1940), actress Bette Midler (1945), comedian Sarah Silverman (1970), actress & musician Janelle Monáe (1985), and actress Zoë Kravitz (1988)
🙀 The best way to survive the winter? 🥶
🕺🏻 Anything I can do...
...THEY CAN DO (AND HAVE DONE) BETTER BACKWARDS AND IN HEELS 💃🏽
Happy Choose Women Wednesday!
Joke's on the Women's Entrepreneurship Day Organization, which established Choose Women Wednesday in 2014 to flip the narrative that a woman's place was in the home and not leading thriving businesses — I choose women every day of the week!
No offense to my bros, but women are generally smarter, more collaborative, wittier, smell nicer, and more pleasing to interact with in a variety of modes than their male counterparts.* #sorrynotsorry
*Don't worry, I'll still talk baseball with you guys. See, you ARE good for something!
Today is also National Lemon Cream Pie (aka Lemon Meringue Pie) Day, celebrating one of the greatest pies ever created! Fun fact: you have a woman to thank for those, too! Big ups to 19th century chef/entrepreneur Elizabeth Goodfellow of Philadelphia, Pennsylvania for that delightful treat!
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Alright, before we get to those links, let's take note of some famous events and birthdays from November 29ths of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!
• In 1877 Thomas Edison demonstrated his phonograph for the first time
• For you futbol fans, FC Barcelona was founded on this day in 1899 by a group of Catalan, Spanish, and English players, eventually developing into one of Spanish football's most legendary teams
• The Beatles' "I Want to Hold Your Hand" was released in the UK in 1963. By February 1st 1964 it became the group's first American #1 hit.
• In 1972 Atari released Pong, considered the first commercially successful video game. Think about that for a moment! How boring life must have been in 1972 for some people that THIS blew their minds:
GIF courtesy of Atari & some poor soul over on Reddit's r/gaming who sincerely believes that Pong "holds up surprisingly well."
• Birthday lemon meringue pies all around for: Philosopher, academic, abolitionist, and women's rights advocate Amos Alcott of "being Louisa May's dad" fame (1799), novelist, poet, abolitionist, and suffragist Louisa May Alcott of Little Women and "being Amos's daughter" fame (1832), educator & politician Nellie Tayloe Ross, who was the first woman to be governor of a U.S. state (1876), famed director and choreographer Busby Berkeley (1895), British novelist, poet, and critic C.S. Lewis of The Chronicles of Narnia fame (1898), pianist & composer Billy Strayhorn of "Take the 'A' Train" and "Lush Life" fame (1915), author & poet Madeleine L'Engle of A Wrinkle In Time fame (1918), legendary Brooklyn/Los Angeles Dodgers sportscaster Vin Scully (1927), English singer-songwriter & guitarist John Mayall (1933), comedy icon Garry Shandling of The Larry Sanders Show fame (1949), filmmaker Joel Coen of "the Coen brothers" fame (1954), Canadian comedian and TV host Howie Mandel of Gremlins, St. Elsewhere, Bobby's World, and Deal or No Deal fame (1955), actor Andrew McCarthy of Pretty In Pink, St. Elmo's Fire, Less Than Zero, and Weekend At Bernie's fame (1962), actor Don Cheadle of Boogie Nights, The Ocean's Trilogy, Hotel Rwanda, and Iron Man 2 fame (1964), actress & comedian Ellen Cleghorne of Saturday Night Live fame (1965), and actor Chadwick Boseman of Black Panther and 42 fame (1976)
• Pour one out for: actress Natalie Wood of Miracle on 34th Street, Rebel Without a Cause, and West Side Story fame (d. 1981), English-American actor Cary Grant of North by Northwest, To Catch a Thief, and Father Goose fame (d. 1986), English singer-songwriter, guitarist, and producer George Harrison of "being The Quiet One in The Beatles" fame (d. 2001), and comedian Patrice O'Neal (d. 2011)
Now on to the amusing links!
*****
1. 🐈 Who needs therapy when we have cats?
Josh from Boredwalk's creator team shares his cheat code to improving his mental health, and it's adorable!
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
2. 🌶️ Sure, this fun mash-up of videographic transmogrification is cool...
...but what I REALLY want to know is where creator Nico Sobolewski got his hands on that bottle of sriracha in late 2023?!
3. ☕ WTF happened to Mary-Kate Olsen?!
She just vibrated into a higher plane of existence thanks to drinking ALL the coffee. This short form vid is a little older, but it's new to me, and Elaine Carroll really nailed this impression.
4. 🥹 These miniature dioramas are breathtakingly adorable!
Operating as A House of Wonders, crafter Caroline Dewison creates handmade miniature dioramas and teeny tiny dollhouse kits that are the most whimsical things I've seen all week (and I spent most of the weekend cuddling a sleeping cat)!
5. 🍄 No one, I think, is in Ellard DeVane's tree
As an artist I love a lot of different forms of creative work, but two in particular that — for me, anyway — go together like peanut butter & chocolate (or whichever food pairing makes YOUR taste buds sing) are psychedelia and stop motion animation.
Visual artist Ellard DeVane successfully weds the two with his clay slicing animations, and I very much look forward to pulling up his YouTube channel next time I want throw on some Slowdive or Wand or Holy Wave tracks and space out on the couch for a spell.
*****
OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...
Peace, love, and lemony feminism,
Matt
Last call for Cyber Monday savings!🤑
JUST HOURS LEFT TO TAKE ADVANTAGE OF OUR LAST BIG SALE OF 2023!
Happy Bavarian Cream Pie Day! If you are moved by the spirit, I hope you get to consume one in part or in whole.
It is also National Brand Day. Hey, Boredwalk is a brand! What's more, it's a brand celebrating Cyber Monday!
However, I was too carbohydrate comatose to be bothered to create new discount codes for the same offers as Friday, so they are the same. The only major difference is that now instead of having FOUR days to use those codes, you have less than 24 hours!
NOW THROUGH 11:59PM TONIGHT GET:
• 10% OFF $50+ orders with code FRIDAY10
• 15% OFF $75+ orders with code FRIDAY15
• 20% OFF $200+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping AND a free spiral notebook* (while they last!) with code FRIDAY20
*Notebook will be added to your cart once the $200 threshold is reached
Cyber Monday: Like Regular Monday, but more futuristic!
GIF courtesy Portlandia / IFC
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Alright! Let's start the week off with some notable events and famous birthdays from November 27ths of yore! If you are among the birthday celebrants today, happy birthday!
• In 1895 Swedish inventor, businessman, and philanthropist Alfred Nobel signed his last will and testament, setting aside his estate to establish the Nobel Prize after his passing
• In 1924 the first Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade was held in New York City
• In 1978 San Francisco mayor George Moscone and city supervisor Harvey Milk were assassinated by former city supervisor Dan White
• Birthday Bavarian cream pies all around for: Drummer, songwriter, and producer Al Jackson, Jr. of Stax Records and Booker T. & The MGs fame (1934), American-Chinese actor, martial artist, and screenwriter Bruce Lee (1940), singer-songwriter & guitarist Jimi Hendrix (1942), actor, singer, and producer Curtis Armstrong of Moonlighting, Risky Business, and Better Off Dead fame (1953), composer Richard Stone of Tiny Toon Adventures, Animaniacs, and Pinky and The Brain fame (1953), engineer, educator, and TV host Bill Nye (1955), actor Fisher Stevens of Short Circuit, Hackers, and Early Edition fame (1963), actress Robin Givens of Boomerang, Head of the Class, and Riverdale fame (1964), rapper Jean Grae (1976), and actor Jaleel White of Family Matters fame (1976)
• Pour one out for: English mathematician and computer scientist Ada Lovelace (d. 1852), naval lieutenant, politician, and LGBTQ activist Harvey Milk (d. 1978), acting family patriarch and honorary Monster Club member John Carradine (d. 1988), and actor David White, who played Darrin's annoying and manipulative boss Larry Tate on Bewitched (d. 1990)
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OK, that's it for this email! We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, more historical tidbits to acknowledge, amusing links to fun content to get you through the week! Until next time...
Peace, love, and cyber-pies,
Matt
🤔 Did someone say "Black Friday?" 🤑
TIME TO FLEX THAT TAPPING FINGER AND ADD TO CART!
In case you just beamed down from space or are Rip Van Winkle's even sleepier cousin, today is Black Friday!
I'll get the discount codes out of the way now in case you are either new to Boredwalk and care nothing for my witty banter or are old to Boredwalk and just not much of a reader (or find my self-confidence in my wit misplaced and/or inaccurate):
NOW THROUGH 11:59PM MONDAY GET:
• 10% OFF $50+ orders with code FRIDAY10
• 15% OFF $75+ orders with code FRIDAY15
• 20% OFF $200+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping AND a free spiral notebook* (while they last!) with code FRIDAY20
*Notebook will be added to your cart once the $200 threshold is reached
Before you say "big whoop, what's so special about a spiral notebook?" I should point out that these aren't your standard flimsy $1 notebooks with a plain color cover and binding made of recycled braces scrounged from the dumpster behind your dentist's office.
Our notebooks feature sturdy 260 lb. cover stock on the front AND back, 160 college-ruled pages, Wire-O binding for 360º page turns that lay flat, and original Boredwalk art on the cover that many customers have literally framed and repurposed as wall art once the interior pages are full. Oh, and did I mention that they are made in the USA? Because they are!
Once these are gone, though, they're (most likely) gone forever. Want to examine the goods? Check 'em out here!
Of COURSE you do! Tomorrow isn't promised,
so get that retail therapy dopamine hit while the getting's good!
GIF courtesy ABC / Bachelor In Paradise
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Alright! Now to entertain the readers. Let's start the weekend off with some notable events and famous birthdays from November 24ths of yore! If you are among the birthday celebrants today, happy birthday!
• In 1877 Anna Sewell's animal welfare novel Black Beauty was published for the first time
• In 1971 during a severe thunderstorm over Washington state, a hijacker going by the name Dan Cooper (popularly known now as D.B. Cooper) parachuted from an airplane with $200,000 in ransom money and to this day has never been found
• In 1974 paleoanthropologist Donald Johanson and his team discovered a 40% complete Australopithecus afarensis skeleton in Ethiopia. It is nicknamed "Lucy" after The Beatles' song 'Lucy in the Sky with Diamonds', which played repeatedly all night throughout the expedition site after the discovery was made and sounds like a circle of Hell made specifically for Boredwalk co-founder Meredith: hot, dusty, and The Beatles on repeat.
• Leftover pie of their choosing all around for: 12th U.S. President Zachary Taylor (1784), French Post-Impressionist painter & illustrator Henri de Toulouse-Lautrec (1864), composer & pianist Scott "The King of Ragtime" Joplin of 'The Entertainer' and 'Maple Leaf Rag' fame (1868), writer & lecturer Dale Carnegie of How to Win Friends and Influence People fame (1888), English musician and original drummer of The Beatles Pete Best (1941), legendary bass player Donald "Duck" Dunn of Booker T. & The MGs and Stax Records fame (1941), Scottish comedian & actor Billy Connolly of Muppet Treasure Island fame (1942), actress, model, trans icon, and namesake of The Velvet Underground's 'Candy Says' Candy Darling (1944), drummer Clem Burke of new wave legends Blondie (1954), musician, producer, and songwriter Terry Lewis, who along with his partner Jimmy Jam was instrumental in creating the musical backing of many of Janet Jackson's biggest hits (1956), English singer-songwriter & guitarist John Squire of The Stone Roses (1962), English filmmaker Stephen Merchant of The Office fame (1974), actor Colin Hanks of Orange County, Roswell, Dexter, and being Tom's son fame (1977), actress Katherine Heigl of Grey's Anatomy and Knocked Up fame (1978), Welsh actor Gwilym Lee of The Great and Bohemian Rhapsody fame (1983), actress Sarah Hyland of Modern Family fame (1990), and my baby brother James (1991)! Happy birthday, bro!
• Pour one out for: Tanzanian-English singer-songwriter and iconic rock 'n' roll frontman Freddie Mercury (d. 1991; pour a cool dozen out for that legend!), actor Pat Morita of M*A*S*H, Happy Days, and Karate Kid film franchise fame (d. 2005), and actress Florence Henderson of Brady Bunch fame (d. 2016)
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OK, I think that about does it for this email! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with some more random holidays to observe — we didn't get around to it, but today is also National Sardines Day, and the less said about that, the better — more historical tidbits to acknowledge, and more of all that "witty" banter I'm so proud of! Until next time..
Peace, love, and savings,
Matt
😋 We don't just like Thanksgiving...
...WE RELISH IT
Happy National Cranberry Relish Day!
Assuming you're an enthusiast, that is. Cranberry relish and/or jelly seems to be one of the more polarizing side dishes of a traditional Thanksgiving spread. I'm not the pickiest eater, but I have strong opinions about food and am ambivalent about cranberry-themed sides. I'm fairly indifferent to the canned jelly, but I've had some pretty bad homemade and store-bought cranberry relishes, which is why I prefer to make my own, which I love. Even better, the leftover relish really levels up vanilla ice cream!
It's also National Jukebox Day, which is quaint and sweet. I wonder if decades from now someone will try to make National Playlist Day a thing?
Chaotic-Evil pro tip: Next time you're about to leave a bar or restaurant with a functioning jukebox, buy $5 worth of the most polarizing song available as a treat for the remaining patrons & staff! Bonus points if it's Chumbawamba's 'Tubthumping' or Don McLean's 'American Pie'!
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Alright, before we get to those links, let's take note of some famous events and birthdays from November 22nds of yore. Maybe yours! If it is, happy birthday!
• In 1718 Royal Navy Lieutenant Robert Maynard attacked & boarded the vessels of British pirate Edward "Blackbeard" Teach off the coast of North Carolina. Among the casualties was Blackbeard himself. Sad! (I guess. Maybe he was a jerk?)
• In 1943 Lebanon gained independence from France, two years after it was first announced by the Free French government
• In 1963 U.S. President John F. Kennedy was assassinated by Lee Harvey Oswald. Vice President Lyndon B. Johnson was sworn in as the 36th President of the United States shortly afterwards.
• Birthday morsels all around for: English novelist & poet Mary Ann "George Eliot" Evans of Silas Marner and Middlemarch fame (1819), French general and President Charles de Gaulle (1890), singer-songwriter, pianist, and actor Hoagy Carmichael of 'Stardust', 'Georgia On My Mind', and 'Heart and Soul' fame (1899), comedian & actor Rodney Dangerfield of Caddyshack and Back to School fame (1921), American-English actor & filmmaker Terry Gilliam of Monty Python fame (1940), tennis legend and feminist icon Billie Jean King (1943), singer-songwriter, guitarist, producer, and actor Steven Van Zandt of E Street Band, The Sopranos, and Lilyhammer fame (1950), Talking Heads and Tom Tom Club singer-songwriter & bass player Tina Weymouth (1950), actress and horror cinema legend Jamie Lee Curtis (1958), Cuban-American rapper Sen Dog of Cypress Hill fame (1965), Danish actor Mads Mikkelsen of Casino Royale, Hannibal, and Valhalla Rising fame (1965), actor Michael K. "Omar comin'!" Williams of The Wire fame (1966), actor Mark Ruffalo of 13 Going On 30 fame (1967), software engineer and Napster founder Shawn Fanning of killing the pre-2000 music industry fame (1980), and actress Scarlett Johansson of Lost In Translation, Ghost World, and Arachnophobia fame (1984)
• Pour one out for: the aforementioned Blackbeard (d. 1718), actor & comedian Shemp Howard of Three Stooges fame (d. 1955), English novelist & philosopher Aldous Huxley of The Doors of Perception and Brave New World fame (d. 1963), U.S. President John F. Kennedy (d. 1963), British writer & theologian C.S. Lewis of The Chronicles of Narnia fame (d. 1963), actress Mae West (d. 1980), English novelist Anthony Burgess of A Clockwork Orange fame (d. 1993), and Australian singer-songwriter Michael Hutchence of INXS fame (d. 1997)
Now on to the amusing links!
*****
1. 😈 The algorithms have NO sense of humor
Tess, Grace, and Josh on the Boredwalk creator team (with occasional cameos from me and my co-founder Meredith) have been doing some of their BEST work lately — truly laugh-out-loud funny videos, like this one of Tess attempting to demonically possess Josh and me — that the FB, IG, and TikTok algorithms just refuse to show people.
I'm bookending this list with another one, but if you're new to Boredwalk I strongly encourage you to scroll through our feeds this week when you're trying to avoid family drama or slink away from the table before the asparagus mousse is served. You won't be disappointed! (Except by the asparagus mousse.)
For more LOLs from our team be sure to follow us on our OG social accounts such as Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, and/or Facebook.
2. 🫣 Art historians are BIG MAD about this one!
Portrait painter and muralist Emma Kenny was commissioned to alter some old paintings for a new concept bar in Glasgow, Scotland, and hoo boy, are there some VERY upset art historians and preservationists losing their marbles in the comments, even though the captions clearly state that the bar sourced and owns ALL of these originals and ASKED Emma to do this.
It would be one thing if the original artists were still alive and were the ones complaining about this project, but they've all been dead for centuries. I guarantee you they do not care.
3. 😱 Just in time for the holidays — the Elf on the Shelf gets a makeover!
Self-taught sculptor Anthony — aka Ace of Clay — repurposes an Elf on the Shelf doll to make something a bit more Nightmare Before Christmas than Night Before Christmas. You can follow him on TikTok or Instagram for shorter clips of his process, but he's so talented I thought I should link to the full process video on his YouTube channel. Enjoy!
4. 😼 We'll see how long this gingerbread house lasts...
Crafter Emma Movius constructed a gingerbread house for her cats, and it is VERY impressive!
5. 👻 A retirement plan for the rest of us
Worried you'll never be able to afford that dream home (or any home)? Josh lays out a compelling scheme to turn your dream into an incorporeal reality — die in a mansion!
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OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until then...
Our biggest sale of the year ends tonight! ⏳
ONLY HOURS LEFT TILL THESE DEALS DISAPPEAR!
Happy National Absurdity Day AND National Peanut Butter Fudge Day! How's this for an absurdity: I just now discovered that peanut butter fudge is a thing that exists. Today marks the first day of the rest of my peanut butter fudge-eating life! Huzzah!
In less-fun news, today also marks the waning hours of our early bird Black Friday event. Come midnight, all the codes below expire, so if you haven't ordered the Boredwalk gear you've had your eye on yet — either for yourself or for holiday gift-giving — now's the time!
Now through midnight TONIGHT get:
• 10% OFF EVERYTHING, STOREWIDE, with code EARLYBIRDY10
• 15% OFF $75+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY15
• 20% OFF $150+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY20
• 20% OFF $200+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping AND a FREE copy of our Good Company guest book with code EARLYBIRDY20* for the first 50 customers!
*Yes, the code is the same. Don't worry. Our system will add the book to the cart once you hit that $200 threshold.
Perfect for the holiday season (but useful year-round), Good Company is a great way to commemorate family gatherings, holiday parties, and low-key friendly hangouts with writing and drawing prompts designed to give you an ever-evolving document of the fun times you've had with your favorite people!
Leave it out for your guests to add to whenever you have visitors and you'll be able to look back through their jokes and poems and doodles about your get-togethers with fondness for years to come.
Plus it's incredibly stylish and would look great on your coffee table. It's also a fantastic distraction for those rude guests that always show up unfashionably early. (You know who you are!)
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Alright! Let's start the week off with some notable events and famous birthdays from November 20ths of yore!
• In 1789 New Jersey became the first U.S. state to ratify the Bill of Rights
• In 1985 Microsoft released Windows 1.0, the company's first graphical PC operating environment
• Birthday Peanut Butter Fudge all around for: Astronomer, cosmologist, and space telescope namesake Edwin Hubble (1889), cartoonist Chester Gould of Dick Tracy fame (1900), singer-songwriter & guitarist Duane Allman of Allman Brothers Band and 'Layla' fame (1946), singer-songwriter & guitarist Joe Walsh of The James Gang and The Eagles (1947), actress Sean Young of Blade Runner, Stripes, and Dune fame (1959), rapper & drummer Michael "Mike D" Diamond of Beastie Boys fame (1965), rapper Phife Dawg of A Tribe Called Quest fame (1970), actor & comedian Joel McHale of The Soup and Community fame (1971), singer-songwriter Davey Havok of emo luminaries AFI (1975), Olympic gymnast Dominique Dawes (1976), and rapper Future (1983)
• Pour one out for: All victims of transphobia. Today is the Transgender Day of Remembrance, when we memorialize all who have been murdered as a result of transphobia.
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OK, scroll on down to learn about fellow Boredwalk fan Kimberlee! If you're feeling even moderately outgoing and would like to be featured in an upcoming Monday email (and are a customer with some Boredwalk tees, tanks, hoodies, towels, bags, or books to show off), just reply to this and let us know and we'll send you some fun questions!
We'll be back here in your inbox on Wednesday with some more random holidays to observe, historical tidbits to acknowledge, and fun links to entertaining content! Until next time...
Peace, love, and last-minute savings,
Matt
Kimberlee loving Scotland in her (sadly, discontinued) Scotland Is For Lovers tee!
1. What's your actual day job and what's your dream day job?
I just left almost 10 years of library programming to become a paraprofessional of deaf/hard of hearing children between ages 3-7. I have never been happier at a job. (As long as I don't think about the pay cut).
I have always dreamt of being a commercial airline pilot.
2. What's your biggest pet peeve?
Saying "good morning." Every teacher/school staff says it. I don't even want to be noticed let alone hear that they think a morning can be good. I think it might be a cult…
3. What's a book you think the Boredwalk community should read?
Ha! Never ask a librarian that. There is no ONE book. Have you been in a library??
For fiction I think the readers would love Tender is the Flesh by Augustina Bazterrica. Nonfiction: Just Mercy by Bryan Stevenson. (Contact me for an extensive list of recommendations!)
4. If you could have any super power what would it be and why?
Protect all children. Enough said.
5. You can curse your nemesis with a minor annoyance for eternity; what do you choose?
Slivers under their fingernails they cannot remove so that every time they attempt to eat fries with ketchup, their fingers feel like fire! Then they will have to eat fries with a fork like George Costanza ate his chocolate bars on Seinfeld.
6. If you could make a mundane wish (meaning, a wish for something seemingly inconsequential that you still believe would benefit you immensely), what would it be for?
That I didn't need to rely on coffee to be a better human.
7. What experience do you most want to cross off your bucket list?
I can finally cross off Scotland!
So next would be to visit ancient Egyptian pyramids and see the hieroglyphs on the walls.
8. What is something you wish you could go back in time and say to your younger self?
Reader, don't marry him. Fall in love with yourself instead.
9. Clear up a misconception (about your job, where you are from, some other topic you know a lot about).
Librarians actually promote not finishing a book that you aren't enjoying, because life is too short and the TBR list is too long. And librarians like to talk. A lot.
10. Where can the rest of the Boredwalk community find you?
On Instagram @javadiva and on Goodreads.
The blackest of Fridays calls for our biggest sale of the year! 👻
WELL, IT'S THAT TIME OF YEAR AGAIN
Look, before you tap "reply" and begin irately clickety-clacking about late-stage capitalism and the true spirit of the season or whatever you're feeling soapbox-y about, we know — it's not actually Black Friday.
Boredwalk does TWO Black Friday sales each year — one the weekend before Thanksgiving and one the weekend after — for a very practical reason: we print all our tees and hoodies and tank tops and messenger bags and kitchen towels to order, and spreading out the savings across two weekends helps keep everyone in our Production and Shipping departments sane and better equipped to avoid burnout and exhaustion from having all the holiday orders come in over a short 4-day period.
The deals this weekend are better than the ones we're offering next weekend. So please bear this in mind as you plan your holiday shopping.
If you're one of those billionaire types, please don't hesitate to pay full price and share some of that largesse with us plebes! Perhaps you're in the market for that brand-new reimagining of our I Refuse To Rest In Peace, I Expect To Haunt In Retribution design, shown above? The original version was solid, but we think this "Taylor's version," if you will, improves upon it immensely. Prove us right and buy it!
Now, on with the discount codes!
Now through Monday (11/20) get:
• 10% OFF EVERYTHING, STOREWIDE, with code EARLYBIRDY10
• 15% OFF $75+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY15
• 20% OFF $150+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping with code EARLYBIRDY20
• 20% OFF $200+ orders AND FREE U.S. shipping AND a FREE copy of our Good Company guest book with code EARLYBIRDY20* for the first 50 customers!
*Yes, the code is the same. Don't worry. Our system will add the book to the cart once you hit that $200 threshold.
Perfect for the holiday season (but useful year-round), Good Company is a great way to commemorate family gatherings, holiday parties, and low-key friendly hangouts with writing and drawing prompts designed to give you an ever-evolving document of the fun times you've had with your favorite people!
Leave it out for your guests to add to whenever you have visitors and you'll be able to look back through their jokes and poems and doodles about your get-togethers with fondness for years to come.
Plus it's incredibly stylish and would look great on your coffee table. It's also a fantastic distraction for those rude guests that always show up unfashionably early. (You know who you are!)
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While you're shopping, treat your earholes to the latest episode of the Boredwalk Podcast! Click here to listen on your favorite podcasting platform!
This week my co-founder Meredith & Grace from Boredwalk's content team trade stories about their recent exercise-related brushes with death!
They also react to a customer review that describes a work culture that gives us all the ick.
There is then our recurring segment "Troll Comment of the Week" — always a fun time! As per usual, this week's troll comment is busting at the seams with unprompted misogyny.
Meredith and Grace then share their responses to our recent Question of the Day "which fast food chain has the worst menu?" Fan answers were varied and heated! A lot of Chick-fil-A stans and haters in these streets!
They wrap up by asking each other questions from our forthcoming Delve Deck expansion packs. From the Venting Edition they answer the question "who disappointed you recently and why?" and from the Joy Edition they share their responses to "what life experience ended up being a lot better than you imagined it would be?"
While we had hoped to unveil those gorgeous new decks today, the Customs & Border Protection agents at the port of Long Beach enjoy ruining holidays more than a pre-heart enlargement Grinch. We'll be doing a discounted launch for those ASAP — hopefully next week! We're confident we'll still be able to ship them in time for Christmakwanzaayulekkah.
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Alright! Let's send you off into the weekend with some notable events and famous birthdays from November 17ths of yore!
• Happy National Hiking Day and National Baklava Day!
• Happy birthday to the beautiful city of Denver, Colorado, which was founded on this day in 1858!
• Birthday baklava all around for: Canadian singer-songwriter & guitarist Gordon Lightfoot (1938), filmmaker Martin Scorsese (1942), model & actress Lauren Hutton of Once Bitten fame (1943), singer-songwriter & guitarist Gene Clark of Byrds fame (1944), actor, director, and American treasure Danny DeVito of Taxi, Twins, One Flew Over the Cuckoo's Nest, and It's Always Sunny In Philadelphia fame (1944), Canadian-American screenwriter & producer Lorne Michaels of Saturday Night Live and Kids in the Hall fame (1944), actor Stephen Root of NewsRadio, Office Space, and Idiocracy fame (1951), drag icon RuPaul of Drag Race and But I'm A Cheerleader fame (1960), influential singer-songwriter & guitarist Jeff Buckley (1966), singer-songwriter & guitarist Kimya Dawson of Moldy Peaches fame (1972), Welsh actor Tom Ellis of Lucifer fame (1978), and Canadian actress Rachel McAdams of Mean Girls, Wedding Crashers, and The Notebook fame (1978)
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OK, that's it for this week! We'll be back here in your inbox on Monday with another email and a fresh customer Q&A! If you'd like to be featured in an upcoming email reply to this and let us know!
Peace, love, and savings,
Matt, Meredith, and the whole Boredwalk team