ALL THIS TALK OF BAGGED LUNCHES AND SALADS IS MAKING ME HANGRY

Happy National Pack Your Lunch Day! And National Landline Telephone Day! And National Ranch Day!

Yeesh, what a bunch of lame lesser holidays. Some days give us genuinely fun things to celebrate, and some days we get celebrations of brown paper bags, outdated technology, and gross condiments. *shrug* Better luck next Wednesday, I guess. (If you have a crystal ball handy and know what next Wednesday's holiday is, that last sentence is pretty funny. One might even think it's...charming.)

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So many famous birthday boys/girls/persons today! They are as follows:

Musicians/Producers: Bix Beiderbecke (1903), Rick Rubin (1963), Timbaland (1972), Robin Thicke (1977), and Carrie Underwood (1983).

Actors: Sharon Stone (1958), Jasmine Guy (1962), Jon Hamm (1971), and Olivia Wilde (1984).

Martial Artists: Chuck Norris (1940).

Human/Shark Hybrids: Barbara Corcoran (1949).

OK, OK...you've waited long enough. It's link time!

1. Ooh, an ethical small business throwing shade at Amazon? Sign me up!

Peak Design spent years developing their sling satchel, only to have Amazon do what it does and rip it off using subpar materials and (let's face it) shady labor practices. This was Peak Designs' humorous takedown, and I loved every second of it!

2. Wait, there's MORE Amazon shade to be had? Lemme get some popcorn...

OK, this is VERY funny, and in no small part because 'Tristan' is played by the very funny standup comic Matt Broussard, who also came up with the idea for this video and wrote the script. Matt once showed me his pun journal after a show, and I'll be honest — before that experience I thought I was pretty creative with visual wordplay, but Matt is operating on an entirely different level. I wonder if he still has that battered old composition book...

3. J-Dog is an 88 year old grandma who is thirsty AF and not being shy about it on TikTok.

This boomin' granny is all about that post-Covid coital life. Hide your sons and fathers, fam! (Don't worry, it's safe for work.)

4. Grandpas are feeling frisky on TikTok, too!

Check out this grizzled hype beast putting all the young bucks to shame with his style game!

5. Jax Navarro is an artist who combines his love of action figures with his love for photography, and the results are epic!

You haven't lived until you've seen Godzilla posterize MechaGodzilla with a dunk in a kaiju basketball game, or seen Marty McFly try to flee a leaping velociraptor.