June 14, 2023

What will wake you up faster than 10 cups of coffee? ☕

JUST ANOTHER TERRIFYING MEMBER OF THE ANIMAL KINGDOM

Happy National New Mexico Day! The Land of Enchantment is presumably worth celebrating for an entire day. I'll find out for myself what all the hubbub is about a week from today when I'm passing through and stopping for the night in Santa Fe on my way east to visit my family IRL for the first time since late 2021. I expect the New Mexicans to greet me with open arms full of yucca flowers and biscochitos! No tarantula hawk wasps,* though, please. 

 

* Today in "things you wish you didn't know existed," please say hello to New Mexico's state insect! The tarantula hawk is a "spider wasp" that preys on tarantulas by stinging them to paralyze them before dragging the body to their brood nest and laying a single egg on it. The egg then hatches a larva which slowly devours the still-living tarantula. Sweet dreams!

 

sleepy kitten gif

Look, if I have to know about tarantula hawk wasps, YOU have to know about tarantula hawk wasps! Please enjoy this sleepy kitten GIF as an apology for the nightmare fuel.
 
GIF via some random Tumblr that no longer exists (and whoever "Com" is)
Today is also National Strawberry Shortcake Day and National Bourbon Day!
 
You may be thinking "why didn't you just lead with those and skip the wasp talk, Matt? Bourbon and berry cake is much more my speed." Well, dear reader, bourbon and cake will just make you sleepy. I want your Boredwalk email reading experience to make you feel ALIVE! Not much on this planet will give you the same jolt as the knowledge that even tarantulas have a boogeyman they tell their spidery offspring about around the campfire.
*****
Want a few notable June 14th birthdays and historical facts with which to further embiggen your brain before we get to this week's amusing links? Of course you do!
 
• The city of Munich was founded on this day in 1158 by Henry the Lion. How adorable! Who knew big cats were so civic-minded?
• The Second Continental Congress passed the Flag Act of 1777 on this day in...1777...thereby adopting the Stars and Stripes as the flag of the United States (today is also Flag Day, which is neither as delicious as bourbon or cake, nor as terrifyingly life-affirming as tarantula hawk spider wasps)
 
• On this day in 1900 Hawaii became a US territory. Mahalo!
• Eat some cake to celebrate the births of: Abolitionist Harriet Beecher Stowe (1811), actor & singer Burl Ives (1909), physician, guerrilla leader, politician, and 1990s poster/t-shirt icon Ernesto "Che" Guevara (1928), Zombies & Argent singer-songwriter Rod Argent (1945), singer-songwriter, DJ, and producer Boy George (1961), actor & screenwriter Faizon Love (1968), tennis legend Steffi Graf (1969), and director, producer, and screenwriter Diablo Cody (1978)
• Pour one out for: American traitor/British spy Benedict Arnold (1801), painter Mary Cassatt (1926), novelist, poet, and playwright G.K. Chesterton of The Man Who Was Thursday fame (1936), iconic film score composer and songwriter Henry Mancini (1994), and Irish singer-songwriter & guitarist Rory Gallagher (1995)
 
Now on to the amusing links!
 
Tess, Grace, and Josh read and react to comments on our videos from trolls (and one marriage proposal for Josh that somehow snuck in there).
 
For more LOLs from our team (or to leave troll comments!) be sure to follow us on Instagram, TikTok and/or YouTube.
 
 
Cake artisan Sheri Wilson knows how to make a body salivate.
 
 
A date fit for a king!
 
I typically favor the desert over the beach, but given what we now know about tarantula hawk wasps I may have to reassess this position and hang out with sea lions instead.
 
 
This surly feline is ready to close her food truck for the day and catch some ZZZs! Take what you can get, human!
OK! We'll be back here in your inbox on Friday — possibly with more nonsense holidays to dissect, more notable birthdays (and maybe even some notable deathdays!) to celebrate, and more witty content in general. Until next time...

Peace, love, and insect-fueled nightmares,

Matt

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